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by GerdavR



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, F/M, M/M, Trans Character, body switch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2019-04-30 20:42:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 16,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14505090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GerdavR/pseuds/GerdavR
Summary: Rey makes a fatal mistake and is captured by the First Order. A dying Snoke wants to possess her body but when the ritual goes wrong she ends up in the body of a certain general ... can she still save the Rebels and convince Finn that she is not who she appears to be? (Trans!Rey/Hux/Finn)





	1. Caged

**Author's Note:**

> Cover edit by smols-darklighter! Many thanks for letting me use it!

[](https://ibb.co/d5LQdn)

The lift doors slid open and revealed an surprisingly unostentatious throne room. There was red tapestry on the walls. The black throne and the lack of ornament were a stark contrast to the gaudy golden robes Snoke was wearing. Rey straightened herself and made her way towards the brightly lit centre of the room. Kylo Ren walked right behind her like an uncanny shadow. She could feel his gaze upon her and a cold shiver ran down her spine.

Had she misjudged his capacity to redeem himself?

Finally she stopped in front of Snoke’s throne. Upon seeing his face closer she suddenly felt dizzy, something about him was … wrong. His face wasn’t just asymmetrical and scarred. He looked like a badly crafted puppet, his fingers too long and his neck too thin.

“Ah … the scavenger,” he croaked.

“As you commanded, Supreme Leader,” said Ren and took a knee.

“Guards, leave us,” commanded Snoke and the red-clad praetorians strode out of the room. She spotted Luke’s lightsaber on the armrest next to Snoke. Rey clenched her fist – this was her chance to strike down Snoke! This was probably why Ren had brought her here in the first place, so that they could get rid of him together!

As soon as the door closed behind the guards she lifted her hand and willed Luke’s lightsaber to come to her. But it was grabbed mid-air by Ren, Rey frowned. What was he- He glared at her, a mocking smile on his lips.

She gasped. “Ben …”

“Did you think you could turn him, little sparrow?” sneered Snoke. “I feel his every emotion, know his thoughts. My apprentice knows that I’m his better.”

She gritted her teeth in anger. “You’re just an old man – I’ll-“

“Silence!” commanded Snoke and with a gesture her throat was tightened to the point where she couldn’t speak anymore.

“Why do you think I wanted to capture you? You’re of course strong in the Force, but in the end you’re nothing, just a common nobody – something to be moulded into something greater.”

Rey called upon the Force and tried to break free, but Snokes hold was too strong. She frantically tried to remember Force techniques Luke had taught her, but the rising panic made it hard to focus.

“I’m dying, my body is betraying me,” continued Snoke. “But my mastery of the Dark Side will help me, all I need is a new vessel. Good thing one walked just right in.”

“No,” managed Rey to whisper, dread creeping into her heart.

“Time to cage a little bird … Now hold still, the ritual is a delicate matter,” said Snoke. He stood up from the throne and raised both his arms in the air.

Rey was lifted up, she wanted to scream and to rage, but in the end she remained frozen by Snoke’s power. Angry tears started to run down her cheeks – it couldn’t end like this! Not like this!

Snoke started to chant something in an unknown language; it sounded guttural and dark.

Minutes dragged on, Rey was getting cold. She tried to focus, to draw on the Force, but she felt more light-headed than before, couldn’t focus.

From the corner of her eye she saw Ren staring at her. The usual vulnerable expression on his face had disappeared, he just glared at her. Cold, calculating, cruel.

She was now freezing, Rey felt like she couldn’t breathe, she started to pant. She tried to inhale as much air as possible, but with each breath of air she felt like drowning … something oily and heavy was filling her lungs. Suddenly she could feel another presence in her mind.

It wasn’t like the telepathic bond she had with Ren. No, Snoke was _here_ – inside her. She coughed and retched but it didn’t help. Her very essence was pushed out of her own body.

She tried to fight, to push back. But it was in vain. Slowly, very slowly she lost the feeling in her feet and her fingertips.

Suddenly she could see herself hovering in the air, Snoke stood in front of her, still chanting. Rey floated above her own body. Ren was still kneeling, but she saw how he reached for his lightsaber. She screamed but there was no sound, only the creeping chanting. Ren smirked; with one quick strike he activated his weapon and impaled Rey’s body.

Snoke shrieked, both from his own mouth as from hers and fell on the ground.

Rey was floating further away towards the door, unable to move on her own. Was it her or was the light in the room dimmer now? She reached out to her impaled body and tried to will her way back to it, but nothing happened.

She thought she heard voices but she couldn’t determine from where they were coming. She felt how she was getting weaker, would she float until her spirit dissolved? No! She would fight until the last moment! There had to be something, anything she could do!

The doors slid open and somebody rushed into the room. Rey felt how a living being passed through her and she gathered all her remaining strength and took hold.

The dizziness was suddenly gone and she was wide awake. The next thing she registered was that Ren was standing in front of her. He glared at her with a hatred she had never seen in his eyes before.

“The scavenger girl killed the Supreme Leader.”

Before she could stop herself, she blurted out: “What?” Her voice sounded deep and strange.

She lifted her hand and saw that it wasn’t her hand at all – it was larger hand in black leather glove. Rey gasped and before she could process what she saw the Imperial guard rushed past her and surrounded Ren.

She looked up again and saw a cruel smirk on Ren’s face. He ignored the guards and slowly walked to the throne. Then he sat down on it and said: “Guards, clean that up.”

They only hesitated a split-second before they grabbed Snoke’s and Rey’s body and dragged them out.

Rey followed the uncanny process with her eyes. Again she stared down on the hand, she clenched it in an attempt to ascertain if it really belonged to her.

“Don’t even think about it, General,” said Ren. “I’m in charge now!”

She jerked her head up and met Ren’s stare. General?

“Leave now – I’m certain you have something else to do instead of staring at me.”

Rey wanted to stay, to fight him. She took a deep breath and forced herself to calm down. No, she had to find out what had happened. Ren obviously didn’t recognize her, she had to play for time.

She turned on her heel and strode out of the throne room. She felt Ren’s gaze on her back and shuddered a little.

 

As soon as the lift doors closed behind her, she exhaled and looked down on her – she was indeed wearing a First Order uniform with an overcoat. She reached up to her face and touched it with her fingertips. She flinched when she felt sideburns.

By the stars! She had indeed possessed some First Order officer! She started to feel nauseous and closed her eyes. Suddenly the lift stopped and the doors slid open again. Automatically she stepped out of the lift and found herself in an empty corridor. The dark floor was so polished that she could almost see herself in it. Her features were of course distorted but she saw the red hair and sucked in her breath.

It was him – the pale red-headed military leader of the First Order: General Hux. Yes, Ren had called her ‘General’ … her mind worked fast. Nobody seemed to notice that Hux wasn’t himself anymore, at least not yet.

She straightened herself, she had to think, to analyse the situation. What the kriff had happened? She had no idea where she was and what to do next. She wanted to scream in frustration, but she pulled herself together when she heard footsteps approaching.

Two Stormtroopers walked down the corridor and saluted when they passed her. Before she could decide if she was to return the salute they had already vanished. Rey realised that she couldn’t stand around, she had to get her bearings as fast as possible. She scanned the corridor with her eyes and saw a security panel a couple of meters away. She almost jogged to it and cursed under her breath when she saw that it was locked.

She found the weak spot in the plating quickly and pulled her black glove from her right hand. With finesse and fingernails she managed to pry one piece of plating away. Sweat was running down her temple when she finally managed to cross the appropriate wires to circumvent the lock out.

Rey looked around, a mouse droid scurried around her. She focussed on the screen and pulled the ship schematics up. She memorised the position of the bridge and the hangars. But she looked in vain for the general’s private chambers where she could find some peace and quiet to think about her next steps.

A shrill beeping interrupted her thoughts and she realised that it came from her left wrist. She pulled back the overcoats sleeve and saw a wrist-holo. She activated it and a figure in a metallic armour appeared.

“General, we caught infiltrators – FN-2187 is among them. I thought that might interest you,” said the woman.

Finn! She blinked and cleared her throat. “Excellent, I would like to see him- them personally. Where are you?”

“Hangar 31. They were working with a slicer, but he sold them out.”

“I’m on my way.”


	2. Clipped Wings

About ten minutes later she arrived in hangar 31 – luckily she had downloaded the ships schematics on her wrist-holo so she could check discreetly if she was on the right way.

Her heart skipped a beat when she saw Finn kneeling in front of the woman in metallic armour. Next to him knelt a dark-haired woman she didn’t knew – Rey assumed she was with the Resistance too.

A shifty looking man had just entered a shuttle and gave her a mock salute from distance. The slicer, Rey thought and grimaced.

She turned her attention again on Finn and couldn’t suppress a smile.

“Gloat all you like, Hux,” hissed Finn. “I’ll-“

The armoured woman backhanded him. “Silence!”

Rey shot the woman an angry look. Then she tried to rearrange her face into an neutral expression. She had to get them out of here – but with the hangar full of Stormtroopers it wasn’t possible at the moment.

“Should we just execute them?” asked the woman.

“No,” said Rey quickly. “I want to interrogate them. It’s imperative that we learn why one of our own has deserted us.” She looked at the rebel next to Finn. She started at Rey with defiance and anger in her eyes. “And we need to find out about rebel bases.”

The armoured woman activated her wrist holo and said to the trooper that reported: “This is Captain Phasma – prepare interrogation room 4 and 5. We have guests.”

The trooper saluted and the call ended.

“Take them away,” commanded Phasma and turned to face Rey. “Sir? I would like to talk in private.”

“O-of course, lead the way.”

 

Phasma led her to a room next to the bridge. Rey assumed that it was Hux’s office but she didn’t dare to sit behind the large desk, instead she stopped in the middle of the room and looked at Phasma.

“Well?”

“I heard that the scavenger killed Supreme Leader Snoke, sir. Is Ren in command?”

“Yes, although-” she interrupted herself and stared at the unnerving reflection of herself or rather Hux on Phasma’s polished helmet. Was it wise to mention that Ren had killed Snoke?

“How convenient for Ren,” said Phasma dryly.

Rey nodded and said as snobbish as possible: “Yes, he was indeed _fortunate_.”

Phasma nodded. “I see.”

She didn’t wait for Rey to dismiss her, instead she just turned and left. Rey stayed behind on purpose and circled the desk. Cautiously she sat down on the black leather chair and activated the screen in front of her by pressing her thumb on a small scanner next to it.

Immediately a number of holo messages showed up, she dismissed them all and transferred the ships schematics from her wrist holo on the larger screen. Interrogation chambers were in the lower decks, quite far away from the flight hangars.

She leaned back and exhaled. Rey had no idea how she could free Finn and the rebel; even if she could somehow talk her way through to get them released … she wasn’t familiar with First Order protocols. All it took was one simple question she couldn’t answer and they would get suspicious – nobody would probably discover who she really was … but they would think that their general had gone insane.

But Finn would know … he would know how to buff his way to the flight deck; he had already done so when he escaped the First Order with that pilot. She massaged her temples. Yes, that could work – but how in the galaxy could she convince him to trust her?

The whole situation was so unreal that she almost couldn’t believe it herself. Saying what had happened out loud must sound crazy. But she had to make it work!

First she needed to get a grip on herself. Every time she had encountered her reflection she had been thrown off track. But she couldn’t afford to get spooked every time she saw Hux’ mug somewhere. She looked around and saw an inconspicuous door on the right side of her desk.

She slowly got up and as she drew nearer the door slid open and revealed a small bathroom. The light was harsh and she saw clearly Hux’ reflection in the large rectangle mirror above the wash basin.

She pressed her lips together and lifted her right hand to touch her face, it was quite unnerving to see Hux do the same. She traced his gaunt features with her fingertips and suddenly felt sick. She barely managed to reach the toilet before she threw up.

With trembling hands she flushed. Rey pulled the gloves from her hands and activated the hydro tap, she bend down and rinsed her mouth with the running water. When she looked up again, she saw Hux’s blue-green eyes staring right back at her. It almost made her throw up again, but she just briefly closed her eyes and opened them slowly after the nausea had receded a little bit.

She sat down on the edge of the toilet and a single sob escaped her lips. Rey could feel tears in the corner of her eyes. Her body must be lying in some morgue – perhaps they had it already incinerated. She was trapped … trapped inside this horrible man. She sniffled.

Damn Ren and damn her stupid naiveté! She wiped over her eyes. She had to get to Luke – perhaps he would know how to reverse this? But then the pictures of her impaled body flashed up before her eyes. No … that wasn’t possible. Even the Force couldn’t repair that kind of damage. Besides, she didn’t even know where her body was.

And what would she do? Just possess somebody else? She couldn’t do that to- come to think of it … where was Hux? Was he still trapped somewhere in his body or had she pushed him out? Could he take back control?

The thought made her shudder and she pushed the idea out of her mind. She could deal with this when she had any idea what she would do next. Yes, one step at a time; she had to calm down to think. Rey remembered a meditation technique Luke had shown her.

‘Recall that feeling when you first reached out to the Force and its stream … fly on it like a bird on an air current, don’t fight it. Use your wings to navigate, to find your flow,’ he had told her. ‘You’ll discover that your connection to the Force becomes stronger when you’re in sync with yourself and the current.’

Rey closed her eyes and imagined herself to fly, she felt the sun on her face and a warm wind was brushing past her as she was gliding on the current and within minutes she had calmed down.

With new resolve she got up and washed her face with water. Then she gathered her courage and looked into the mirror again.

Hux looked tired and pale. His usually slicked back hair had fallen in his- in her face. She opened a small cupboard on her left and found a comb. With slightly trembling hands she combed the strands back until there was no hair out of place.

She had to take control of the situation. Hux was one of the most powerful people in the First Order, she could do it! She just had to keep her nerves and come up with a doable plan.

Rey exited the bathroom and returned to the desk. First she had to gather as much information as possible. She checked her chronometer – it was 23:07 standard galactic time. Finn had been brought to the interrogation room about an hour ago. Nobody would expect Hux to attend to the prisoners right away.

She activated the screen again. New messages popped up, this time she took the time to glance at them. Mostly reports about personnel rotations and requests for audiences. Just one message caught her attention – it was an update on the First Orders pursuit of the Rebel forces.

Rey cursed under her breath when she realised that the rebel fleet was about to be destroyed: The First Order fleet was hunting them and it was only a matter of time until they ran out of fuel.

Was this the reason why Finn had snuck aboard of the Supremacy? She scrolled further down and discovered that “Project X434” had been responsible for tracking the rebels.

A quick search in the First Orders database revealed that this particular project was a new programme that could track ships even after a hyper-space jump. Crap.

So all she had to do is save Finn and the rebel from a heavily guarded interrogation room, get them off the First Order’s Flagship, stop Project X43-soandso so that the rebel fleet could escape, convince her friends that she wasn’t a mad mass-murderer and find a way to transfer her spirit … somewhere else. She sighed. Perhaps she should try to eliminate Kylo Ren while she was at it, piece of cake.

She turned in her chair to face the panorama window behind her. She looked at the stars. How was she supposed to achieve all that? Perhaps the key was not to try to come up with an elaborate plan but to do what mattered most: she would do everything to save Finn and the rebellion. Yes, that was all that mattered. Even if she couldn’t convince them to trust her. Even if she wouldn’t make it … Rey had always suspected that she wouldn’t grow old – nobody on Jakku lived past 40 …

Her thoughts returned to Finn, his warm smile, his beautiful eyes, his humour and his courage. She wasn’t afraid to die, but after meeting Finn … she had hoped that she would get more time with him.

But it didn’t matter what she wanted, it only mattered what she could do. Rey turned back to the screen.

She once again scrolled through the file of the hyperspace tracking programme. The computer core was on deck J07, section B12. Perhaps if she could somehow sabotage it after she had freed Finn? It didn’t matter if she got caught as long as she completed her mission.

Before she could delve in the details of the schematics her wrist-holo beeped. She activated it and a First Order officer appeared.

“Sir! Project X434 just went offline.”

Rey frowned. “Offline?”

“Yes sir, the technicians are currently checking the programming. It’s possible that it’s a malfunction, but we can’t rule out that the captured rebels had something to do with it.”

By the stars! The Force was still with her! This was her chance to check out the computer core herself – just in case she needed to sabotage it herself. “I want to inspect it myself, continue your investigation.”

“Yes sir!”


	3. Wind

Rey arrived on deck J07, section B12 and the troopers standing guard snapped at attention. She had decided that Hux wouldn’t salute his subordinates and didn’t return the gesture.

The officer who had called Rey clicked her heels together. “Sir, this way.”

She led her into a room with a small console in the middle of it. The room was buzzing with mouse droids with their characteristic beeping.

Rey noticed right away that the lower port of the console was slightly scratched. The officer took a knee and brushed over the port.

“The supervised maintenance crew didn’t report scratches. But it’s possible they wouldn’t report it – be it because they feared punishment or it simply wasn’t there when they last updated the core.”

Rey shifted from one leg to another. “At what time did the programme go offline?”

“23:21 sharp. The rebels were of course already in custody at that time.”

“Is it possible that the rebels have set a timer?”

The officer shook her head. “Unlikely. We have found no malware and no spike … yet.”

Was it just a lucky coincidence? The room was without doubt heavily guarded at all times … from the corner of her eye she saw a mouse droid scurry out of the room through a small droid hatch next to the door.

Finn was no technican, he couldn’t have manipulated a droid to sabotage the tracker programme. Perhaps the woman he was with? No, they were working with a shady slicer who had betrayed them for credits.

The mouse droids beeped again. Droids … A droid – BB-8! Rey jerked her head around and scanned the room with her eyes. There was a small strangely quadrangular box under a console. She quickly averted her eyes lest the officer wouldn’t notice it.

She had to get rid of her. Rey cleared her throat. “Leave me, I want to examine the room on my own.”

The officer didn’t even raise an eyebrow, she just turned on her heel and left.

Rey waited for a moment and then she quickly knelt down and lifted the black box. BB-8 made a high-pitched beep and activated its blow torch as it was uncovered.

Rey lifted her hands. “I want to help Finn, I- I’m a spy for the resistance. Meet me outside the room as soon as I leave – I can take you somewhere safe. Just stay close to me.”

BB-8 beeped quizzical.

“We don’t have time for that – just- just trust me, okay?”

She got up and strode out of the door, outside she cleared her throat and said the officer: “Keep me updated.”

“Yes sir.”

She pretended to check her chronometer and registered that BB-8 rolled out of the droid door. It was bound to attract attention because of it bright colours. Rey straightened herself as she briskly walked toward the lift, BB-8 in tow. She hoped that the fact that the droid seemed to belong to Hux would be enough to avert noisy glares.

 

 

Rey would never have believed that the way the First Order being submissive to authority was to the extent that their general could strut around on the flagship with a foreign droid without being questioned – but here she was again in Hux’ office without as much as a quizzical glare.

She cowered down and gave BB-8 a smile.

“We made it, BB-8.”

The droid beeped a few times.

“Of course I know you – I’m a friend of Finn’s. I guess sabotaging the tracking device was your handiwork?”

BB-8 whistled and beeped.

“I know. But first we have to save Finn and the other rebel. They’re currently held in cells and we’ve to-“

Beep.

“We’ve to think of a plan to free them, alright?”

She noticed that BB-8’s antenna was bent, she reached out and had to pull her hand back when BB-8 activated the blow torch again.

“Relax, I’ll just want to fix it.”

Slowly she reached out again and took the antenna off. Rey bent it back and attached it again.

“There you go.”

BB-8 rolled further away from her and shot her something like an inquisitive look.

“Look, I know that you don’t know me – but I need you to convince Finn to trust me when-“

Beep-beep!

Rey exhaled. “I know that I said I was his friend … well, I am – but he doesn’t know it yet.”

BB-8 stared silently at her and rolled further back.

Rey sighed ran her hand through her hair and flinched a little when she touched the gelled wisps. She gulped. “What would I gain from lying to you? I could’ve just turned you over to them.”

Beep?

“Well, whether you trust me or not – we have to save the rebel fleet and free Finn. I’ll try to come up with a sensible plan and … I can’t force you to help me but-“

BB-8 whistled and beeped in agreement.

“Great! I’ll go and check on Finn and the woman – you’ll find a network access right by the desk.” Rey got up and straightened her uniform.

With an excited beep BB-8 rolled towards the desk. Rey watched it disappear behind the furniture and gulped again before she turned and left the office.

 

 

Thanks to the ship’s schematics on her holo she found the interrogation rooms quickly. A quick glance at her chronometer told her that it was now 00:12.

The guards at interrogation room 4 stood at attention when she approached and even opened the door for her. Once it slid shut behind her she stopped dead in her tracks. The rebel woman was strapped to a stretcher, it was the same model she had been strapped to by Kylo Ren a couple of months ago. Right next to the prisoner stood a trooper – he snapped at attention and took a quick step back from the woman. “S-sir!”

Rey glanced at the trooper and the woman. The way he had reacted away led her to believe that he had overstepped his bounds. Had he tried to interrogate her himself?

“Leave us,” she ordered and stared at the trooper with the coldest glare she could muster.

“Sir!” The trooper hurried out of the room.

The woman stared angrily at her. Rey had no idea what to do next; she had only come to check upon the prisoners. Well, she had to start somewhere.

She stepped to the controls next to the stretcher and deactivated the restraints. The woman’s eyes went wide, then she slowly freed herself from the stretcher and lifted her chin defiantly. She was barely reaching Rey’s or rather Hux’ chest but the intense way she stared at Rey made her uncomfortable. The bright light made her feel hot in the thick uniform and involuntary she took a few steps back – out of the pool of light into the shadow.

The woman frowned, again she seemed surprised.

“The guard. What did he do?” Rey asked quietly in an attempt to appear as non-threatening as possible.

She crossed her arms. “Is this some kind of pathetic attempt of an interrogation? First you let me alone with some ass and then you’re the nice guy I’m supposed to open up to?”

“Not at all. Care to tell me your name?”

She shifted from leg to another. “The name’s Tico. And you are?”

Rey hesitated for a second before she answered. “Hux.”

Tico’s eyes widened again. She blinked. “General Hux? So you’re charge here, huh?” Her voice trembled a little.

“In a sense. Kylo Ren killed Snoke – he’s the new Supreme Leader.”

“What?”

“It’s true, it happened just a couple of hours ago. I guess this makes me second in command.”

Tico clenched her right hand to a fist. Rey was taken aback by the anger and fear she suddenly felt from Tico – she had felt her emotions through the Force! But- that wasn’t possible, was it?

But she clearly felt the tension, fear and rage from her. She was about to assault Rey. She had to calm her down.

“You’re thinking about attacking me,” Rey said. “But that wouldn’t be wise. You might not believe me, but I want to help you and Finn.”

“Helping us? What a load of bantha dung!” hissed Tico.

“The tracking system is down, BB-8 sabotaged it and-“

“You’re lying! You- why do you know BB-8s name? And Finn’s?”

Rey felt a headache coming up and rubbed her temples. This wasn’t going well. “I don’t have time for this discussion, I have to check up on Finn. As soon as I-” she interrupted herself and took a breath. “I’ll be back.”

Before Tico could mouth another question she strode out of the room and said to the trooper outside the door: “Bring the prisoner to a cell with a bed and get her something to drink and eat.”

“Yes sir!” he replied.

 

 

Rey went to the next room and entered it as well. She felt her heart leap when she saw Finn, she had to suppress a smile. Finn was strapped to a stretcher and glared at her. The hatred in his eyes gave her a stab in the chest. There was also a trooper present, he stood in the back of the room.

Rey considered for a moment if she should sent the trooper out. It was possible that this would raise suspicion since she’d already sent Tico’s guard away. She came closer to Finn, there was a film of sweat on his face and he looked as if he wanted to spit on her.

“Why did you leave the First Order?” she asked.

“What do you think, Hux? Because I’m no murderer!”

Rey began to pace back and forth in front of Finn. “You just decided to desert us? No prior thoughts and discussion among your uh friends?”

Finn frowned. “Did you hear me? I’m not a murderer – never was!”

“Nobody encouraged you?” inquired Rey.

“This might surprise you, but some of us still have something called morals. You think that we’re all your good little soldiers, but we’re still _people_!”

She felt his distain towards her and her headache got worse. The pulsating pain made her massage her temples again and for an unguarded moment she grimaced.

“That’s really blowing your mind, isn’t it?” jeered Finn. He laughed humourlessly.

Rey felt sick. Was it Hux trying to take back control? All her efforts would be in vain if she lost control. She decided to retreat somewhere private to try to find out what was wrong with her. Besides being trapped in the body of an enemy general of course.

“I have other matters to attend to.” She turned to the trooper. “Bring him to a cell and make sure he’s ready for the next interrogation.”

“Yes sir!”

Rey literally fled the room.


	4. Fluttering

Outside she almost bumped into Phasma. She made an effort to put on an neutral expression, but she apparently failed miserably.

“Are you alright, sir?” Phasma asked.

Rey decided to go with a half-truth. “The rebel scum is giving me headaches.”

“Sir,” Phasmas’s voice dropped to a whisper. “When did you sleep the last time?”

“What?”

“With Ren in command we need you at full strength. I’m aware that you ordered me to not talk about it anymore, but not sleeping or eating properly is going to take a toll eventually.”

In this moment the trooper lead Finn out of the interrogation room, Phasma eyed them but didn’t say anything.

Rey cleared her throat. “I don’t have time to rest.”

Phasma averted her gaze from Finn who was escorted down the corridor. “The rebel fleet isn’t pulling away, it’s only a matter of days until they run out of fuel. I urge you to rest a couple of hours before the final battle.”

Perhaps Phasma was right? Rey realised that she knew the sick, hollow sensations she was experiencing from Jakku – when she hadn’t enough rations.

Rey nodded and wiped across her face.

“I’ll send food to you chambers. Try to eat all of it this time,” said Phasma. If it weren’t for her cold, cutting voice Rey would’ve thought that she cared for Hux.

 

 

It took Rey a couple of minutes to find Hux’ quarters on the crew deck. If someone found it odd, that General Hux was loitering around in a corridor they didn’t show it; troopers, technicians and other First Order personnel busily walked past her.

She was surprised at the sparse and simple furniture. The room itself was rather large, much larger than any other room she had seen on a star ship. It looked strangely uninhabited, almost no personal items, everything was neat. There was a black couch in the middle of the room, on the small table in front of it was a small plant. It seemed to be a small Tree. In the back was a large dark desk, it was the same model as in Hux’ office. A large panorama widow offered a view of a hangar with TIE fighters. In the adjacent rooms she found a bathroom and a bedroom.

Rey noticed that there was no dining table nor chairs or other seating-accommodations for guests. She glanced at the chronometer: it was 01:31. She really should contact BB-8 to ask about its progress. But she had no idea how to call it and she let herself fall on the couch. She shed the heavy overcoat and the leather gloves and massaged her temples again.

The door chimed and Rey staggered on her feet. As expected it was a man in grey uniform holding a tray with food in his hands.

She thanked him before she could stop herself and took the tray from him. The man looked a little puzzled but of course he just bowed and left.

Rey sat down and put the tray on the couch table. She lifted the lid from the plate and when the delicious smell of food reached her nose, her stomach stared to rumble. By the stars! She really was hungry!

She didn’t recognize the dish, but she didn’t care. Whatever it was, it was vastly superior to most food she had ever eaten. Within minutes she had devoured everything, she leaned back on the couch and closed her eyes for a moment. Heartburn set in, but she didn’t care, at least the sick feeling in her stomach had disappeared.

Rey stared at the plate, there was a certain irony about it that she was embodying the one of the most powerful men in the First Order, but she didn’t even know how to order breakfast without raising suspicion. By the stars, it really was only a matter of time until she tripped up. She sighted, Phasma had been right, at least to a point. She was exhausted and she needed to rest so that she could come up with the strength and necessary wit to save Finn and Tico.

With a groan she got up on her feet and opened the topmost button of her uniform jacket and rolled her shoulders back. She felt tired and somewhat unclean, she had to take a shower to clear her head. Perhaps that would help against the headache as well.

It was strange to go through Hux’ drawers until she found underwear. Every piece of clothing she found was neatly folded and of dark colours. She threw the shorts on the bed and pulled something that looked like pyjamas from under the pillow. Then she sat down and pulled the boots from her feet.

The bathroom was of course as undecorated as the rest of the quarters. The light was so harsh that the headaches worsened for a moment. Rey stared at Hux’ reflection in the mirror above the washbasin. The pale complexion and the eye bags made him look very unhealthy indeed. No wonder that Phasma had told her to take a break.

Rey averted her gaze and began to unbutton the jacket. She threw it on the floor and shed the white shirt, the trousers and finally – after a moment of hesitation – the underwear. From the corner of her eye she saw Hux’ scrawny pallid body in the mirror. She couldn’t help herself, she had to look closer. She took a step towards the mirror.

Without the heavy uniform he looked pathetic, like one of the malnourished scavengers on Jakku who never seemed to find enough parts for a full ration. There were dark bruises and old cuts on his chest and his arms.

She lowered her gaze and felt heat crawling up her cheeks when she looked at the genitals. Rey averted her gaze and stepped into the shower.

She activated the hydro tap and hot water started to patter down on her. Rey closed her eyes and enjoyed the sensation, it felt good, as if she could simply wash the horrible events of the day away. As she stood there with her eyes closed, her thoughts returned to the events in the interrogation chamber.

She had clearly felt Tico’s and Finn’s emotions through the Force. She needed to ascertain whether she really still had command of the Force like she used to. But she had to be careful, Ren was able to sense her before the incident in the throne room. If she spread her wings too much, tried too hard to connect with the Force he might discover her.

And she needed check if Hux was still there … she assumed that she had pushed him out, much like Snoke had pushed her out of her own body. She deactivated the water and took shampoo from a bottle next to her.

She rubbed shampoo all over her and flinched a little when she reached the penis and the testicles. It felt strange when she washed them, not unpleasant but strange.

Finally she turned the water back on. As the water prattled on her she listened within and closed her eyes again. She spread her wings a little, looking for something in the current of the Force that would tell her that there was someone else. Nothing. It seemed that Hux was gone for good. She exhaled.

 

 

The bed was surprisingly comfortable, but Rey suspected that her standards were rather low after sleeping on thin mattresses the past months. She wanted to set her holo to wake her up, only to discover that it had already preprogramed times at 07:00. She left it and moments later she had already fallen asleep.

 

The shrill beeping of the alarm startled Rey and for a few seconds she was confused about where she was. Then she remembered and wiped across the face before reaching for the holo and turning the beeping off.

She still felt exhausted, but at least the headache was gone. She pulled the duvet aside and stood up. She noticed with a frown that something was pushing against her pants. Her eyes went wide when she realised that she had an erection. At the same moment she felt that she had to pee.

She pulled at the waistband and glanced at the engorged dick. Perhaps the erection would go away when she used the toilet? Rey sighed.

After a rather awkward morning routine consisting of trying to brush her teeth with some state of the art toothbrush and several attempts to put enough product on her hair to mimic Hux’ usual hairstyle she finally left and headed for the office.

 

 

BB-8 rolled toward her and beeped somewhat angrily as soon as the door closed behind her.

“Look, I’m sorry, okay. I checked on Finn and Tico – they’re fine.”

Beep?

“Humans need to rest and eat sometimes, but I’m here now. What did you find out?”

BB-8 rolled back to the desk and Rey followed it.

Moment later the deck with the interrogations rooms was displayed, a thin red line showed the shortest way to a small hangar in the aft section.

Rey sat down on the chair and studied the schematics. It was certainly a very short route.

“What’s in that hangar?”

Beep-bop.

“I assume that the maintenance crew has shuttles ready?”

BB-8 made an affirmative sound.

“That could work, small shuttles are clearly better suited to escape notice.” Rey leaned back in her chair. “But where would they go after that?”

A chime interrupted her thoughts, she quickly found the door opener on her desk and attempted to sit up straighter. A man in grey uniform entered the room, he carried a tray.

“Sir, your breakfast.”

“Ah excellent,” Rey said and felt like B-88 brushed past her legs under the desk.

The man put the tray down on the table by the sofa. “Will you attend dinner tonight, sir?”

Her mind went blank. Dinner? She opened Hux’ calendar on the holo and noticed that there was a recurring date every evening “Dinner w/officers”.

“I will.”

“Very good, sir.” The man bowed and left.

Rey exhaled. She glanced at Hux’ calendar again – there were quite a lot dates and reminders. She had no idea what they were about. She had to act fast, the chance that she slipped up was too big. Even a dinner with First Order officer could make them question Hux’ mental health.

BB-8 beeped from under the desk.

Rey realised that she had to take precautions in case they were onto her. She pushed her chair back and cowered down to BB-8.

“Listen, I’m a rebel spy – an impostor. It’s possible that I’ll be arrested because they realise that I’m not the real thing. If that happens I want you to execute your plan, you hear me?”

Bop?

“I-it’s a long story. It doesn’t matter … we have to get them to General Organa when…” she broke off. Of course! The hidden tracker General Organa had given her before Rey had left to meet Luke. By the stars! Why hadn’t she thought of it earlier?

She got up and quickly checked her holo and found a frequency labelled “Phasma”. She hesitated for a moment. It was risky, certainly there were protocols on who to call, but it would take too much time figure that out. She just had to risk it. She gulped and dialled Phasma’s frequency.

After a few seconds Phasma’s figure materialized on the holo. She was of course wearing her armour which made Rey wonder if she had slept at all.

“Sir?”

“I need to inspect the scavenger’s remains … And we don’t need to bother the new Supreme Commander with this trivial matter.”

“I understand, sir. The remains are in the morgue; I’ll instruct the personnel to keep out of your way.”

“Excellent, I would like to interrogate the rebels after my visit in the morgue. Have them transferred.”

Phasma stood at attention and the call ended.

BB-8 beeped a question.

Rey realised that she had almost revealed to BB-8 what had happened to her old body. If the droid learned that Rey was dead … She cowered down. “It’s somebody from the resistance who- who has been killed. She has something we need to help Finn.”

Beeeep.

“No, you can’t come along. Just wait here – I’ll come get you but it’s possible that I can’t return right away.”

An indignant beep told her that BB-8 still wanted to come along.

“It’s still a no,” said Rey firmly. “It’s risky as it is. I can’t have them question me.”

As she passed the tray on the table she saw that it was only a cup of tea and slice of bread. Rey quickly took a gulp and grimaced. It was too bitter for her taste.


	5. Ruffled Feathers

Small clouds of breath escaped Rey’s mouth when the officer in charge of the morgue activated a med droid who whirred into the cold storage to retrieve her body.

“I’ll leave you to it, sir,” the coroner said and disappeared out of the cold room.

Rey shuddered, she wasn’t sure if it was only because of the chilly temperatures. She pulled her greatcoat closer around her body.

The droid reappeared with an elongated white pod in tow. Rey steeled herself before she pressed the button to open the pod. The sight of her own dead body with a nasty gash in her chest still made her gasp. The straps of her top were messily draped around the body like small white feathers.

As she had suspected … her body was well beyond any medical treatment. With slightly trembling hands she grabbed her- the body’s pale wrist and removed the bracelet with the tracker. She quickly checked the body: next to its leg, under the cloth of the top she found Luke’s lightsaber.

It was to long for her pocket, she jammed it under her uniform belt. Now she had to cover her tracks. She called the medical officer back.

“I can’t help but to notice the shape of the wound,” Rey said. “It seems as if she had been impaled.”

“Yes sir, I noticed it too. There older bruises and scratches but it almost looks like she hadn’t put up a fight.”

Rey clasped her hands behind her back, hoping that was something Hux did when speaking to his subordinates. Now was the time to sow doubt among the First Order. “That’s a surprise. Supreme Leader Ren told me that she had killed Snoke and he was just able to kill her in return.” She looked straight at the officer who blanched slightly.

“W-what should I write in the report, sir?”

“Report your findings with all details, Captain.” She noticed his nervous look and added. “I leave the summary at your discretion.”

He nodded slowly. “Of course.”

 

 

On her way to Hux’ office she received a holocall.

It was an unknown officer who asked her to come to the bridge. She acknowledged and after a quick look on the map on her holo she strode towards one of the turbo lifts. Cold sweat was running down her back when she stepped out of the lift – the whole bridge was filled with comm officers murmuring and technicians busying themselves at large holo screens.

She straightened herself and briskly walked towards the panorama window in the front. Two officers snapped at attention before relaxing into parade rest.

“General, the rebel fleet is down to one ship. By our calculations they’ll run out on fuel in about twenty hours. If the information the slicer gave us is correct they’ll deploy escape pods as soon as they reach Crait.”

„How many hours before they reach the planet?” asked Rey in the coldest voice she could muster.

“Five,” replied the older officer. “With Project X434 still offline we should destroy them as soon as they abandon ship.”

Rey wanted to object, but she couldn’t think of an argument to raise. She still needed to keep a low profile. And if she managed to get Finn and Tico off the ship before the rebels reached Crait they could tell the rebels to make one last hyper-space jump before Project X434 began working again.

“Very well, keep me updated,” she said. “I’m currently interrogating the captured rebels. Perhaps we can shorten the chase.”

The younger officer smirked. “Good hunting, sir.”

 

 

This time Rey wanted to talk to Finn first.

As expected he was again strapped on the stretcher in a pool of harsh light. A trooper was again guarding him.

“Get me a cup of caf,” she said coolly in the direction of the trooper. “This could take a while.

“Yes sir,” he replied and left.

Finn shot her an angry look. “I won’t tell you a thing! I-”

Rey took a few quick steps until her face was but centimetres away from his. “We don’t have much time. Shut up and listen to me.”

Finn frowned and was about to say something, but Rey quickly continued.

“I’m _not_ Hux, I’m a rebel spy and I want to get you out of here.”

Finn scoffed. “Have you finally snapped, Hux? Or is this some stupid mind game to get me to divulge intel?”

“It doesn’t matter if you believe me or not – in the next couple of hours I’ll try to get you out of here. Be ready.”

She took the bracer out of her greatcoat’s pocket and shoved it in Finn’s trouser pocket.

“This is a tracker that should lead you to General Organa. The hyper-space tracker is currently off-line. You have to tell her to make one last jump before the Order closes in.”

“What the kriff-“

“I know that you don’t trust me – but I’m not Hux and this is not a trap!”

Finn scoffed. “Yeah, that’s really likely.”

Rey wiped across her face. By the stars! What else could she say that he would believe her? She took a deep breath.

“You know that the First Order has the rebels already cornered. What would I possibly gain if I lied to you?”

He just glared at her.

Rey straightened her uniform and took a step back. “Just be ready, okay?”

They stared silently at each other until the trooper returned. He handed Rey a cup of caf. She took a sip and tried her best not to grimace – by the stars, didn’t they believe in sweeteners in the First Order? Instead she sneered.

“You don’t know loyalty. Not to us and not to them; I should’ve known that you would break easily. It does seem that I don’t need the caf after all.”

Finn’s eyes widened but he didn’t reply.

“Let’s see if you friend confirms your little tale.” Rey added before she left.

 

 

Tico looked even angrier than the day before. Rey glanced at the trooper guarding her before she sneered again.

“Your accomplice was quite talkative. He told me all about your desperate plan to sabotage the tracking programme.”

“You’re lying – he wouldn’t tell you a thing.”

“Really? Then why do I know that you’re the skilled slicer who managed to disrupt the tracker?”

Tico frowned. “You’re just guessing.”

“It’s quite logical really, who else could have done it? Some droid?”

To her credit Tico didn’t even flinch. She just hoped that Tico would catch on.

“You don’t have to say anything, the look in your eyes-”

Before she could finish the sentence she felt her hair stand on end and a cold shiver running down her spine. She spun around just in time to see the door slid open and reveal Kylo Ren. To Rey’s surprise he wasn’t wearing his mask.

He stalked into the room and gave Rey a cold glare. Then the turned his attention to Tico.

“Why are you still wasting your time with these prisoners, Hux?”

Rey put the cup on a console and clasped her hand behind her back and focussed to suppress any emotions. “The tracker-”

“I don’t care. What is done is done. The rebels will soon be eradicated,” he quietly said. “Execute them,” he added with venom in his voice.

Rey gulped. “I don’t agree, they-”

Ren gestured and Rey felt how she was lifted off her feet with a force choke. Her first impulse was to counter with the Force but she squeezed her eyes shut and forced herself to do nothing.

“You were saying, general?”

“A-as you wish Supreme Leader,” Rey managed to crow.

He let her go and she fell on the floor, panting. Again she had to force herself not to attack him.

“Do as I say,” Ren said with a strange indifference in his voice. He seemed strangely calm.

Rey stumbled on her feet and saw from the corner of her eyes that Ren had strutted out of the door. She was running out of time – she had to act fast before Ren decided to do the deed himself.

She activated her holo and called Hux’ office – she just hoped that BB-8 intercepted the transmission. “The Supreme Leader has decreed that the rebels have to die. Prepare everything, I’ll handle it myself.”

She ended the call quickly and turned to the trooper. “Get the prisoner out of there, I’ll be back shortly,” she said in a hoarse voice.


	6. Spread Wings

Rey returned to Finn’s cell. The trooper snapped at attention.

“You – take you helmet off,” she ordered.

The man only hesitated of a short moment before he removed the helmet. He was young, a downy beard covered his chin. There was fear visible on his face, Rey almost felt sorry for him.

She steeled herself, pulled Hux’ blaster from under her greatcoat and whipped it against the man’s temple. With a grunt he fell on the floor, a nasty cut on his head.

Finn had craned his neck to see what had happened. Rey made eye contact said quickly: “We have to hurry, Ren ordered your death. I’ll release you and you’ll put on his armour – quick!”

She deactivated the restraints and took a step back; she didn’t want to give him a chance to attack her. Finn stepped down from the stretcher and eyed the blaster she was still holding in her right hand.

Then he quickly walked to the unconscious trooper and began to pull the armour off him. About two minutes later Finn put on the helmet.

“Take the rifle and follow me,” Rey said and put her blaster back into the holster under the greatcoat.

Without waiting for Finn she left the room and headed for Tico’s cell. Just before she entered Finn had caught up to her. It felt strange feeling him in her back, she could clearly feel that he was angry at her.

Tico was already standing ready, the trooper had cuffed her.

“Excellent, I’ll take her – trooper, stay here and wait for Captain Phasma.”

“Yes sir.”

Finn stepped forward and grabbed Tico at the upper arm.

Rey turned on her heel and briskly walked away. On the corridor she turned left and glanced quickly on the map BB-88 had prepared. She could hear Finn whispering to Tico but she couldn’t make out what he was saying.

She focussed on the way; even if they plotted to get rid of her – the most important thing was to get them safely off the ship.

After a couple of minutes they finally reached the maintenance hangar. Rey cursed under her breath when she saw two officers talking to each other right beside it.

They spotted her and snapped at attention. “General Hux, how may we be of assistance?” asked the grey-haired one.

“Supreme Leader Ren ordered me to dispose of this rebel scum, there is nothing more fitting that a small dirty hangar,” Rey replied with faked vitriol.

The officers’ mouth twitched. He was getting suspicious. Rey stepped forward and reached out to the Force. “You will go to your quarters.”

His eyes became glassy. “I will go to my quarters.” He brushed past Rey and started to walk down the corridor.

The other officer opened his mouth to protest, Rey turned to him. “You have important business to attend to in your office. Leave.”

“Wh-what…”

“You have important business to attend to in your office. Leave,” repeated Rey.

He blinked and left.

Rey saw that the door unlocked just before she reached it. She smiled. It seemed BB-8 had gotten her message.

They quickly stepped into the small hangar and Rey closed the door again. A loud beep made them turn their attention to the small droid that rolled towards them.

Finn pulled the helmet off and beamed at it. “BB-8! You’re alright!”

Rey relaxed a little and was about to say something when Finn spun around and trained the rifle at her.

“I don’t know what game you’re playing, Hux – the two officers were clearly in on it! You told them nonsense and they just leave? That’s too damn convenient.”

Rey lifted her hands in the air. “It’s not a game. I want you to get off the ship.”

Tico stepped closer and pulled her blaster from the holster, she brushed the lightsaber that was still tucked away under her belt.

“What’s this?” Tico asked and yanked the lightsaber out.

Finn gasped and his face screwed up in anger. “That’s Rey’s lightsaber! How did you get it? Where is she?”

This wasn’t going according to plan, Rey started to feel a little sick. “Finn, listen to me. You’re running out of time. Board the shuttle and get out of here, please!”

BB-8 beeped accusingly.

“I’m not leaving her! Where is she?” yelled Finn. “What did you do to her?”

Rey cursed under her breath. They couldn’t go look for her, all they would find was a body. Time was running out – there was only one course of action. She took a deep breath. “I’m Rey.”

Finn’s face screwed up in disbelieve. “What the-“

“Snoke was dying, he tried to- to steal my body. But Ren killed him and me- my body. Somehow I ended up in-“

“You’ve gone insane!” screamed Finn, shaking with anger. “You killed her and now you’re making up weird shit!”

Rey drew breath to try to calm Finn down when a shot rang out. A burning pain spread from her shoulder and she fell on her knees. She looked down and saw blood wetting her black uniform. Then she looked up again and saw Tico standing next to Finn with Hux’ blaster in her hand.

“This is for my sister!” she hissed and turned to Finn. “We have to go now – let him bleed to death! He has clearly snapped!”

Rey pressed a hand on her shoulder. The searing pain of the injury almost made her black out. She stared at Finn, tears forming in the corner of her eyes. At least he would get away …

In this moment the hangar doors burst open and Kylo Ren, followed by troopers, stormed in. Tico and Finn opened fire and lunged behind crates. Three Stormtroopers were instantly killed, two of them hid behind pillars next to the door and returned fire.

Ren had drawn his blood-red blade and deflected the shots almost casually. With a gesture he ripped the weapons from Finn’s and Tico’s hands. He lunged at them and swung his lightsaber to behead Finn.

Finn ducked, Tico threw him Rey’s lightsaber and he activated it instantly. He parred the next attack with it. But Ren used to Force to throw him against the shuttle.

“Finn!” yelled Rey in desperation.

Tico had picked up a hypo-spanner and almost managed to land a blow on Ren’s arm. He Force-pushed her away.

“You still haven’t learned your lesson,” Ren sneered and deactivated his lightsaber. He lifted his hand and stared at the lightsaber lying next to Finn, who was struggling to get on his feet. The lightsaber started to vibrate, Finn’s eyes widened in shock and he lunged forward to grab it, but it had already flown out of his reach – towards Ren.

To everyone’s surprise it zoomed past Ren’s outstretched hand right to Rey. She caught it and activated it them moment she held it. Feeling the hilt in her hands she gave her the feeling to connect stronger with the Force. She reached out to the Force, attempted to spread her wings further than before. She gritted her teeth and used the Force to throw the remaining Stormtrooper against the durasteel wall.

Ren gawked at her, in a matter of seconds his face screwed up in anger. “You!”

He lunged at her, swinging his lightsaber with all his might. Rey dodged the attack and counter-attacked with a series of fluent movements. Every move send pain through her shoulder – Ren seemed to notice her weakness. He relentlessly attacked her right side and forced her to use her injured shoulder.

Suddenly a shot rang out and Ren screamed as he fell down, holding his left leg. Rey was panting and felt light-headed due to the blood loss, she jerked her head around and saw Tico standing next to the shuttle, the engines had already started.

“Come on!” she yelled and turned to run into the shuttle.

Rey started to run, only moments before the shuttle took off she managed to heave herself on the ramp. Somebody grabbed her by the collar of the overcoat and dragged her roughly further into the shuttle.

Suddenly she was let go and she banged on the hard floor, it almost took her breath away. She saw Finn standing over her, glaring at her with confusion and anger. She couldn’t help but smile. He had come back for her.

She felt even more light-headed than before and in a matter of minutes she lost consciousness.

 

 

She dreamt that she ran away from something, someone. She was in a dark cave and just when she felt that it was catching up to her she woke with a start. A dull pain spread through her shoulder and she groaned and remembered her injury. When she pressed her hand on it she felt bandages.

The next thing she noticed was the blaster pointed to her head. Rey slowly turned her head and saw Finn sitting next to her.

“No sudden moves,” he said in a low voice.

Rey gulped, her throat was parched. “Alright.”

“Since when can you use the Force?”

Rey licked her lips. “I told you-“

Finn suddenly grabbed her by the collar and brought his face close to hers. “Am I really supposed to believe that you’re- that you’re Rey?”

Rey felt tears sting in her eyes. “Do you remember what the first thing was that I did when I saw you? I knocked you on your ass.”

Finn let go of her and took a step back.

Rey sat up from the berth. “BB-8 thought that you had stolen his master’s jacket. I-I thought you were one of the bad guys.”

“That doesn’t prove anything,” said Finn. There was fear audible in his voice.

“I know,” said Rey and wiped her tears away with the back of her hand. “I was confused too, I was pretty scared until I realised that I had to save the Resistance fleet and you. At least you’re off the Supremacy.”

“And this?” Finn pulled the tracking device Leia had given her out of his pocket.

“It will lead you to General Organa, she gave it to me before I left to look for Luke Skywalker. I already told you-“

“Shut up,” Finn whispered in a throaty voice.

Rey fell silent, she averted her gaze and buried her face in her hands. She sniffled.

“You can’t be her. She can’t be _Hux_ ,” Finn said almost pleadingly.

The sound of his voice almost broke her heart. Before she could muster an answer she noticed that the shuttled had dropped its speed. Judging from the sound of the engines they were about to land.

Minutes later the engines shut down and Tico and BB-8 entered the small cabin. Rey looked cautiously up and saw that Tico was holding a pair of magnetic restraints.


	7. Molt

They had landed on General Organa’s flagship, the hangar was filled with people packing weapons and supplies into emergency pods. Rey felt slightly sick when she walked down the ramp of the small shuttle.

When the men and women spotted her they froze. The sudden silence in the hangar was ear-deafening until a voice rang out: “Finn! Rose!”

General Organa was standing at the blast door at the entrance of the hangar. She wore a white robe and held a crane in her right hand; right behind her was a tall woman with purple hair and a stern expression on her face.

“General!” Finn smiled. “Good to see you!”

Leia nodded and turned her attention on Rey. “General Hux, what a surprise.”

BB-8 beeped loudly.

Leia frowned. “What? The tracker is offline?”

“You have to go to hyper-space right now,” said Rey quickly. “The slicer Tico and Finn used to get on board of the Supremacy betrayed you – the First Order knows that you want to flee to Crait.”

Leia stared at her intently, it was an inquiring gaze, full of mistrust.

Beep-bop! Added BB-8.

“I know it sounds crazy, but Hux actually helped us to flee,” said Tico. “If the tracker is off we need to jump _now_!”

Leia suddenly seemed tired, she put both her hands on her crane and turned to face the tall woman beside her.

“Do it.”

The woman nodded sharply and strode off.

 

 

Cold stares accompanied Rey when she was escorted into the brig. When she was finally alone she closed her eyes and exhaled. In this moment she felt how the ship jumped into hyper space.

She allowed herself to smile. She had done it. The Resistance was safe and so was Finn.

Rey rubbed her wrists, they hurt a little from the restraints. Her gaze fell on the hydro tap in the farthest corner of the cell. She quickly walked over and activated it, she washed her face and drank directly from the tap.

Then she used the sleeve of her grand coat to wipe her face. A small, almost blind mirror revealed that she looked even paler than before – or rather that Hux looked even paler than before. She cast her eyes down and ran her hand through her- Hux’ hair.

The pain in her shoulder graduated from a dull stabbing into burning agony. She grimaced and noticed that she was bleeding through the bandage.

Before she could make up her mind if she should call the guards to get pain killers, she heard the door to the brig swoosh open. For a moment she hoped it was Finn, but to her surprise it was a man with curly dark hair.

He gave her a lop-sided grin. “I had to see it for myself – General Huggs in the flesh.”

Rey shed her greatcoat and threw it carelessly on the narrow bunk. She was hot and tired.

“You know, there are rumours that you defected. But I know better.” His grin drained away. “You are a fanatic, you would die for the First Order.”

Rey wanted to contradict him, but at the same time she knew that it was futile to deny being Hux. She thought again about Finn. “Are Finn and Tico alright?”

The man frowned. “What?”

“Kylo Ren attacked them; are they unharmed?”

He set his lips in a thin line. “I won’t play your game, Hux.” He turned on his heel and left.

 

 

Two hours later they dropped out of hyperspace, Rey felt the soft stutter when the ship slowed down. She bit her lips. She had expected that Finn … or someone would want to question her. But nobody had visited her since the man with the curly hair.

The pain had spread from her shoulder to her torso. She stepped closer to the force field and called the guards, but nobody came. Were they letting ‘Hux’ stew in his own juice? She felt how she grew angry that they let her suffer. No, no … they thought that she was a mass-murderer … she had no right to get angry. Or had she?

Rey began to pace back and forth, finally she sat down cross legged and started to meditate like Luke had taught her. She focussed on the Force around her and tried to ignore the pain. Slowly, very slowly she lost herself in the meditation.

She heard porgs crow and could feel the salty taste of the sea on her lips. It almost felt like she was on Ahch-To again. She walked the narrow path to the peak, she could feel the grass under her boots. She stopped and looked down, she wasn’t herself. She wore Hux’ uniform, his boots and when she reached up to her face she felt his face. The strange thing was that it didn’t shock, didn’t even surprise her.

She continued her way to the peak. She saw Luke standing in the evening sunlight, he had turned his back towards her. Before she could call out, her trance ended and she was startled when she realised that Tico was standing in front of her.

“How is your shoulder?”

“I could use some painkillers,” Rey replied and grimaced a little.

“I‘ll tell the medics to give you something.” Tico rubbed her hands against the hem of her trousers as if she wanted to clean them. “There are no First Order dreadnaughts shooting us to bits, and BB-8 confirmed that the tracking programme was off-line when we fled. So I guess that part of your story is true.”

Rey ran her hand through her hair. “You seem to be alright, how is Finn?”

“He is fine … upset but fine.”

“Welcome to the club.” Her words sounded sharper than she had intended. “I‘m sorry, this whole thing is so messed up. I thought that I was dead … and then …” she broke off and stared at her- Hux‘ hands.

“You know – if this is some nefarious plan I guess you‘ve made up a less crazy story. Unless you‘ve just gone insane of course.”

Rey smiled sadly at her. “I‘m not sure if it would be better if I’m gone bonkers.”

Tico shuddered. “That was so creepy – I mean I didn‘t even know Hux could smile.” She rubbed her hands together. “Sorry, I didn‘t mean it like that … if you‘re not Hux-”

“It‘s alright. P-perhaps there is a way to reverse this, if we could get to Luke Skywalker,” she said haltingly. As soon as the words had left her mouth she regretted them. It was a childish hope, she had already been through this.

But what else was there? She directed her gaze again on her hands. They were pale and soft. No calluses, no sunburnt skin. She clenched them. Yet they were hers now, part of her.

“Uh, well, on the bright side you were able to save us. A pity you weren’t Hux a couple of days ago.” Tico gulped and grabbed the silver medallion she was wearing around her neck. “You could‘ve saved our fleet. We took quite a beating.”

Rey didn‘t know what to say. Even if she had been there, she doubted that she would‘ve been able to stop the First Order war machine.

“I should get going,” said Tico. “I‘ll tell the medics to check up on you.”

“Thanks.”

 

 

A couple of minutes after Tico had left two soldiers entered. One of them was carrying a medpac which they threw into the cell after deactivating the force field. They shot her a dark glare before the force field went back up again.

She waited until they left and grabbed the medpac. There were two kolto injectors in it. Rey opened the uniform jacket, pulled her shirt up and used the first on her upper arm. She exhaled in relief when the burning pain in her shoulder receded.

She was about to straighten the shirt when she looked down. She put her left hand on her flat chest, she let her hand wander over the torso and traced the collarbone. Rey felt her lips twitch as she felt the soft skin. It felt nice. She shrugged the jacket off and striped the shirt away.

She looked at her skinny arms and flexed her healthy left arm. Then she reached up and trailed her neck and her ears. She put her hands on her chest, pressed them against her nipples. Is was a strange sensation, not unpleasant but strange. Lastly she touched her cheekbones and the nose. She grimaced a little and used her fingertips to feels her face move.

There was a strange warm feeling in her stomach, she couldn’t quite place it. After a few moments she felt chilly and dressed herself.

 

 

The next visitor was none other than General Organa. Rey had been lying on the small bunk, but when she saw Leia, she quickly got up and approached her.

Leia seemed tired, but she still radiated strength and authority. Rey knitted her hands together and smiled nervously at her.

“General Organa, I need to return to Ahch-To. I need to speak to Luke, please.”

“So you still maintain that you‘re Rey?” Leia asked. Her tone was friendly, but there was an edge to it.

“I know that you‘re Force sensitive … I have felt it. Can‘t you feel me?”

“I‘m not trained like Luke,” Leia huffed. “I‘m not sure what I feel.”

Rey wanted to groan in desperation, but she pulled herself together. “But you feel something, right? And you know that I helped Finn and Tico. Just hand me over to Chewie – he‘ll bring me to Luke.”

Leia rubbed her chin. “You know about Ahch-To, Chewie and you knew about the secret tracker I gave to Rey. And there is this uncanny feeling of familiarity… but if you‘re Hux you‘re guilty of war crimes and other atrocities.” She sighted. “Whatever the outcome, we need to be certain. I‘ll ask Chewie to fly you to Ahch-To as soon as we have set up a new base of operations, and I‘ll send guards along.”

Relief washed over Rey and she almost choked up. “Thank you!”

Leia smiled at her, the very sight comforted Rey.


	8. Taking Flight

The guards woke her in the morning. They were rough when they put the magnetic restraints on her wrists, but Rey didn’t protest. Just when they were heading to the door it slid open and BB-8 rolled in.

Rey smiled at the welcome sight of the droid. “Hello.”

BB-8 beeped and whistled.

“What are you doing here, BB-8?” asked one of the guards gently. “We need to take him to the med bay.”

Booop.

“Calm down, it’s just Hux.”

BB-8 beeped indignantly.

Rey gulped. At least BB-8 did believe that she was his friend.

The guards led her out of the door. The droid followed them, beeping softly as if it wanted to comfort her. She was glad – the cold stares and the whispers that followed her made her anxious.

 

 

The medic changed the bandages, Rey hissed in pain when the bacta was applied to the wound. Her back hurt a little. If she could have she would have shifted in a more comfortable position, but she was strapped down on a med bed.

The medic finished the treatment and scanned her from head to toe. He checked the read-outs and was about to call the guards to let them escort her back to her cell, when the door swooshed open.

Rey craned her neck to see who had entered. She sucked in her breath when she saw Finn. He chewed on his lower lip and gave her a nervous look.

Rey felt her heart leap and she tried her best not to grin like an idiot – or in Hux‘ case like a madman.

“I‘ll bring the prisoner back to the cell,” said Finn and patted the side-arm he was wearing.

“Alright,” replied the medic in a mildly bored voice. “Then I‘ll leave you to it.”

The medic checked the scans one last time before he left.

For a couple of moments Rey and Finn just stared at each other. Rey took in his beautiful, compassionate eyes, his handsome features and his soft lips. She wanted to hug him so badly, feel his warmth like she had when they had embraced each other in the Starkiller base.

Finn‘s gaze was more guarded. He seemed to look for something.

“Rey?”

“Yes,” she answered, painfully aware of his frown.

“Is this really you?” His voice sounded brittle.

“I‘m afraid so.”

Finn leaned down to her, reaching out with his hand, but in the last moment he retracted it and took a step back. Rey felt an iron grip around her heart.

“I‘m sorry-“ chocked Finn. “I can‘t.”

He deactivated the restraints and Rey sat up on the med bed. She sniffled.

“Come on, I‘ll escort you back to the cell.”

Rey just nodded and got up. Finn grabbed her on upper arm and led her out of the med bay. Finn’s warm hand felt good, it gave her a secure feeling. They walked down the corridor. She felt again the anger and the fear emanating from the people they encountered on their way. She missed BB-8. A lump formed in her throat.

 

 

When they had reached the cell Finn gestured her to step inside. Rey gulped in a vain attempt to get rid of the lump and held her arm where Finn had grabbed her. She already missed his touch.

“Finn-”

“J-just go in.”

She gulped again. “Just once, hold me just once. That‘s all I‘m asking.” She wanted to add ‘Don‘t leave me alone’, but her voice failed.

Finn‘s eyes widened, then he averted his gaze.

Rey pressed her lips together and turned to step into the cell.

“Wait,” said Finn so quietly that Rey almost didn‘t hear it.

He stepped closer and pulled her haltingly in an awkward hug. Rey froze at first, but then she returned the embrace and buried her face in Finn‘s shoulder. She smelled his scent, a faint taste of caf, soap and fuel and sighed. For a moment she felt calm and happy, but then she slowly realised that something was off. Finn‘s hug was stiff, detached. She on the other hand pressed him against her with all the might, desperate, scared. She stood awkwardly hunched, since she couldn‘t simply rest her head on his shoulder anymore due to the height difference. Slowly she let go and straightened herself. Only now she realised that he was about a head smaller than her.

She wiped across her face. “Thank you.”

His mouth twitched. “It‘s really you, isn‘t it?”

He lifted his right hand and cupped her face. She closed her eyes when she felt him brush against her cheek.

“We‘ll fix this,” said Finn. “You don’t have to stay that way.”

Her eyes fluttered open, she blinked and made an effort to smile. “Of course we will fix it.” There was a strange feeling in her stomach. She felt unwell.

 

 

She was just about to eat her dinner, some kind of bland hotpot with flatbread when the man with the curly hair entered.

He glanced at the tray with the food on it. “Do you mind company?”

“No,” Rey said and continued to eat.

He pulled up a chair and sat backwards on it, crossing his arms on the top of the backrest. He cleared his throat but didn’t say anything.

Rey eyed him but remained silent. Was this another attempt to interrogate her?

“Usually I’m good at this,” he said.

Rey blinked and put her spoon back into the hotpot. “At what?”

“Talking.”

“Really?”

He scratched the back of his head. “It’s just- I’m Commander Poe Dameron.”

So this was the pilot that Finn had fled with from the Order? She put the tray with the food away. “Hi, Poe. I’m Rey.”

“So I’m told,” he retorted dryly.

Rey frowned. “Wasn’t I supposed to introduce myself?”

He sighed. “I’m sorry … My go-to move is to be a sarcastic dork when I’m a little overwhelmed.” He gave her a bright smile. “Pleased to meet you Rey.”

She returned the smile. “Pleased to meet you too.”

For a moment it seemed that Poe blushed, but surely the shimmering Force-field between them had played a trick on her eyes.

“To be candid I’m here because Finn believes you.” He inhaled. “He is my friend and I was worried about him-”

“So you came here to check me out?” interrupted Rey.

He gave her another smile. “Yes. But honestly … your smile told me everything I needed to know.”

Rey blinked in surprise. “My smile?”

“Hux could never smile like that, all he ever could manage is a smirk. And of course there is the fact that you saved Finn and Rose.”

She got up and stepped closer to Poe. “You don’t have to worry about Finn.”

Poe scanned her from head to toe. “You can use the Force?” It was more a statement than a question.

“Yes.”

“So you could get our here any time you wanted?”

“I think so, but I honestly haven’t thought about it.” Rey ran a hand through her hair. “All I want is to convince everybody that I’m Rey. And of course to make Finn happy.”

Poe smiled again. “That’s what I wanted to hear.” He got up from the chair. “I wish you the best.”

Rey felt that he meant it and a warm feeling spread out in her chest. “Thank you.”

 

 

That night Rey dreamed of Ahch-To. Once again she ran up to the peak, desperate to get there. When she finally arrived it wasn‘t Luke who was waiting for her – it was Finn. He smiled at her, the way he had smiled at her when they had escaped with the Falcon. His beautiful dark eyes beamed and he laughed from the bottom of his heart. Rey rushed to him, happy to see him.

Finn embraced her, they held each other firmly. Rey buried her face in his shoulder, feeling his warmth made her gasp a little. She smelled his scent, her heartbeat quickened. She placed a soft peck on his neck and Finn loosened his grip. She took a small step back and cupped his cheek with her right hand. Their faces were but centimetres away, Rey set her sights on his soft, inviting lips and she felt her arousal growing. Slowly she leant in and kissed him, his lips tasted of sea salt. Their kiss turned quickly deeper, driven by their need for each other. He let his hands wander over her back down to her ass caressing her all the way. She moaned and mirrored his movements, feeling the heat increasing.

Suddenly they were in the dark cave beneath Ahch-To. Finn pressed her against the cool wall, covering her neck with hot kisses, she closed her eyes to enjoy the sensations fully, groaning loudly. Rey opened her eyes again and stared at the wall behind Finn, the stone turned into ice and finally it turned into a mirror. She saw herself being caressed by Finn. Her red hair had fallen in her face, almost covering her blue-green eyes. Finn’s hand finally reached her crotch and squeezed the huge bulge in her pants softly. Rey bit her lips to muffle her moans and closed her eyes for another short moment. When she opened them again she flinched when she saw in the reflection that Finn was now holding and caressing a dark-haired woman.

With a gasp Rey jerked up in her bed. She panted and felt hot, a split second later she realised that it had been nothing but a dream. She exhaled and let herself fall back into the bunk. She thought that she could still feel Finn’s hands on her body, taste the salt on his lips. The very thought made her bite her lips, she reached up and brushed her lips with the tips of her fingers. A soft moan escaped her lips, it didn’t nothing to dispel the heat inside her.

Only now she realised that her cock felt strange; she brushed it hesitantly with her left hand and gasped as a wave of pleasure rolled through her body. She grabbed it with a firmer grip and squirmed while moaning. Her cock was hart, but it felt completely different from the erection she had experienced before: It was throbbing, feeling very full and hot, her pants were uncomfortably thigh.

She quickly shed her clothes and grabbed the cock. Imagines of Finn kissing her resurfaced and Rey bit her lips while she starting to slide up and down. She imagined how it was Finn’s hand that gave her pleasure, she panted and moaned loudly. After a few hurried strokes she came with a gasp, squirting hot cum all over her naked stomach.

 

 

Rey washed herself with a towel at the small washbasin, she felt relaxed and very satisfied, less on edge. She looked up and studied her face in the mirror. She noticed that the dark bags under her eyes were gone. There was a light reddish-blond stubble covering her jaw. It made her look like one of the charming smugglers that had occasionally visited Jakku. She actually looked nice, healthy. She ran her hand through her mussed up hair and smiled a little.

She checked the bandage, the bacta was obviously working. The pain had receded and the wound had healed quite a bit. She felt good, comfortable – she was back with the resistance and there was no doubt that she could sooner or later talk to Luke. Rey blushed a bit when she remembered Finn’s hug.

Yes, things were looking up.


	9. Flying

The next couple of days were slow, Rey started to do push-ups and practiced her battle forms. She soon discovered that she tired more easily than before, so she gritted her teeth and made an extra effort to complete her regimen.

Finn continued to visit her.

“So, you’ve been working out?” he asked.

Rey stretched. “Well, I have to do something. I’m not used to sit around all day. Back on Jakku I dreamt about doing nothing, not having to work – but now … it drives me crazy.”

“Hm, I get that you’ve cabin fever. But General Organa said that it was better if you’re not taking a walk – for your own safety,” said Finn. He looked at his shoe tips and seemed suddenly low-spirited.

Rey stopped her stretches. “Can I at least get other clothes than this First Order garb? I mean the droid cleans it but-”

“I actually asked – but the upper brass feel that would send the wrong message. They want to confirm your identity first.”

Rey stepped in front of the force field. She wished that she could touch Finn, give him comfort. She made an effort to smile. “Don’t worry, I can take it.”

Finn glanced at her, he frowned before he could arrange his face in a neutral expression. “You are strong, you know that, right? The bravest and strongest person I’ve ever met.”

Rey laughed. “What’s that supposed to mean? Of course I can last more than five days in a cell.”

Finn looked at her sadly. “You know that I wasn’t talking about the cell.”

Rey felt how she blanched. “Of course,” she quickly said and brushed a strand of hair out of her face.

 

 

She trained late that night. Her arms and legs ached, she was panting, sweat running down her back. But she couldn’t stop. She wanted to wear herself out, she had to. She wanted to feel uncomfortable, exhausted.

When she finally collapsed on the floor, breathing heavily she closed her eyes and buried her face in her hands.

“Are you okay?”

Rey jerked up and saw that Rose had silently entered.

She nodded and wiped the sweat away. For the next few moments nobody spoke, the only noise was Rey’s ragged breath

Rose sighed. “Listen, I know that I’m a klutz with people, but I can clearly see that you’re not okay – so do you want me to awkwardly dance around the subject or will you just tell me what’s bugging you?”

Rey scoffed. “It there something that is okay with me? Here I am, sitting in a cell in this horrible uniform, looking like- like that.” She vaguely gestured towards her face.

“I get it, it was a stupid question. It’s just … you seemed fine yesterday. And your story about that thief on Jakku was hilarious- I mean-” she broke off.

Rey kneaded her hands together and said quietly. “That’s the problem. I was fine. I’m a freak and I was fine with it.”

When she heard a buzzing sound she looked up and saw to her astonishment that Rose had turned off the force field. She stepped inside the cell and sat down next to Rey.

“What are you doing?” asked Rey with a frown.

“Come now, we both know that you’re not Hux. Besides … I’m a nasty fighter,” said Rose with a smile and put her hand on Rey’s shoulder. “And you look like you need a friend.”

Rey felt her warmth and calmed down a little. “Thanks.”

“If you want I can go shock whoever told you that you’re a freak with my trusty electro shock prod.”

Rey laughed and sniffled. “For someone who shot me you sure care a lot.”

“It’s all part of the package.”

They sat a moment in silence. Rey finally drew breath and said: “Nobody called me a freak. It’s just- I don’t know – it’s complicated.”

“I get that this whole situation is nerve-racking, but what bit about it is complicated?”

“I had a dream,” said Rey while picking her nails. “I was back on Ahch-To and I saw a woman there. She looked straight at me, I didn’t recognize her at first. But then I realised that it was me. Like I used to be. It felt so strange, she wasn’t me and at the same time she was.”

“Sounds scary.” Rose let her hand wander on Rey’s back.

“It was.”

Rose softly stroked her back. “Well, I guess it’s confusing … being in another body I mean.”

Rey sniffled. “I- I think I actually like it.” She regretted the words as soon as they had left her mouth. She glanced anxiously at Rose, waiting for a sign of her scorn.

Rose’s eyes widened. “You like it?”

“I don’t know,” Rey quickly said. “Forget I said anything.”

Rose smiled at her and pulled her into a hug. “It’s alright to feel that way. It’s alright.”

Rey embraced her and held her firmly.

“It’s alright,” repeated Rose.

 

 

Rey had just finished her breakfast when General Organa, Finn, Rose and Chewbacca visited her. Rey tensed up and nervously started to knead her hands.

Leia deactivated the force field. “Today we will take you to Luke. There is little doubt in my mind that you’re really Rey to be honest. But we need to be absolutely certain.”

Rey gulped and nodded.

“Chewie will fly you there – Finn and Rose agreed to accompany you,” Leia continued.

She looked at Finn and smiled, it warmed her heart to see him again. He smiled awkwardly back.

Chewie roared.

“Thank you, Chewie. It’s good to see you too,” said Rey.

 

 

The flight to Ahch-To was surprisingly quick, only a couple of hours later Rey stepped out of the falcon. The familiar crows of the porgs made her smile. When she started to walk the grassy path up to the settlement she had a déja-vu – it was exactly like in her dream. When she had dream about being kissed by Finn … She felt light-headed and took a deep breath.

“Are you alright?” asked Finn and stepped next to her.

She felt heat crawl up her cheeks. “It feels strange to be here again.”

Rey pulled herself together and started to walk towards the peak. The Lanais caretakers eyed her with suspicion, but when they saw Chewie she went on with their business.

Every step that took her closer to the Jedi temple on the top of the island felt heavy, she felt nervous. Suddenly Finn grabbed her by her arm. “You look pale. Do you want to rest?”

She gave him a quick smile. “W-we need to get to Luke.”

His eyes searched her face and Rey felt an iron grip around her heart. By the stars, she loved him and wanted him to hold her, her thought returned again to the dream and she gulped. She wanted him to touch her like she had imagined it … She turned to continue her way.

 

 

Luke was awaiting them on the cliff overseeing the island. He looked at them, majestic and calm as always. If he was surprised to see a First Order general on his tiny island he didn’t show it.

Rey took a step forward and searched for the right words, but before she could articulate the chaos inside her mind Luke clasped his hands behind his back and said:

“Good to see you again, Rey.”

Rey smiled somewhat relieved. “Good to see you too, Master Skywalker.”

Chewie greeted Luke with a growl.

“You too of course, Chewie.” Luke made his way to Finn and Rose. “We haven’t met I believe.”

Rose looked completely star struck and grinned. “It’s an honour to meet you! I’m Rose – Rose Tico.”

Finn shifted from one leg to another. “I’m Finn, good to meet you Master Skywalker – can- can you help Rey?”

Luke turned to face Rey again. “I told you this wouldn’t play out like you thought. But to be honest – I didn’t listen either when Master Yoda told me to complete my training before confronting Vader.”

“I had to try,” replied Rey.

Luke stepped closer and patted her shoulder. “I know.” He walked over to the cliff again.

Finn took a step forward. Rey closed her eyes, here it was – the moment of truth she had dreaded. She could hear him clear his throat.

“Can you help Rey?” repeated Finn.

She opened her eyes again and saw that Luke was still looking out into the sea.

“You already know the answer, don’t you, Rey? There is nothing I can do. I have taught you everything I could and dark rituals are well beyond my abilities.”

“W-what about the Force?” asked Finn.

Luke turned and faced them. “The Force is not some magical power to grant wishes, Finn. I sense that you have feelings for Rey but there is nothing-“

“I don’t care!” yelled Finn. “I don’t want to hear it! If you can’t help her, then we’ll seek out the best physicians and- and-”

Luke remained perfectly calm. “Have you asked Rey what he wants?”

Rey felt how she blanched. Hearing Luke using exact these words gave her a funny warm feeling in the stomach … ‘what _he_ wants’ Rey thought over and over.

The thought of getting medical advice hadn’t even occurred to Rey up until now. The prospect was unsettling and the dread of not recognizing her- himself resurfaced.

She- He wasn’t Rey anymore. He had felt it for quite some time now, seeing himself in the mirror felt right, it felt … like everything had fallen into place. He felt whole.

He looked at Rose. She gave him an encouraging smile. He glanced at Finn, heart aching. He loved him. What- what if Finn wouldn’t love him back? It would break his heart … but so would lying to himself.

He gulped straightened himself. “I would like to have a word with Finn, please.”

Luke gave her a wry smile and left, cape dramatically billowing behind him. After a moment of hesitation Rose and Chewie followed him.

Rey approached the meditation stone and let his hand glide over the cool, smooth surface. Finn followed him outside.

“Rey …” he looked at him with such longing that his heart ached. The setting sun bathed his features in warm light, Finn looked absolutely striking. Rey felt tears sting in his eyes.

“I already suspected that Luke couldn’t do anything to fix this,” Rey began. “I just lacked the courage to tell you. You said that I was the strongest person you’ve ever met … but that isn’t true. I was a coward.”

Finn licked his lips. “You aren’t a coward, you hear me?” Finn took his hand, Rey didn’t miss the slight hesitation nor the slightly scared expression on his face.

Rey chocked up. “But I am. I couldn’t admit how I felt-” he stopped mid-sentence.

Finn cupped Rey’s right cheek with his hand and brushed over his cheekbone.

Rey sniffled. “I was so scared at first, sick to my stomach. I could barely look into the mirror. Hux was everywhere, glaring at me with his merciless eyes, with his haunted look.” He smiled sadly at him. “But Hux is long gone from the mirror. All that’s left is me.”

Finn let go of him. “What?”

“This is me now. No longer Rey but … Ray.” Ray could feel that the wind had picked up, the tails of his greatcoat were fluttering behind him like large black wings.

“Y-you really mean it?” gasped Finn.

“Yes … it took me a while to understand it, my feelings … it feels like coming home from a long journey. It’s strange at first, but you know that it’s your home, your place and you feel secure and- it just feels right.” Ray cupped Finns face with his left. His hand trembled a little. “I’m home.”

Finn reached up and covered his hand. “Rey- I mean Ray-“

“I love you, Finn,” he quickly said. “I understand if you can’t love me back, but- but I have to be honest with myself.”

Finn took his hand and kissed it softly, Rey sniffled. It felt so good, he had longed and dreaded this moment without knowing it.

“Ray, you’re still same person I met on Jakku,” said Finn with wet eyes. “You look different, but you’re still you. The same silly, reckless scavenger who sees light even in the darkest night. I love you. Nothing will ever change my feelings for you.” He leaned forward and gave him a tender peck on his mouth. Finn ran his hand through Ray’s hair and murmured: “I think red suits you, my sweet robin.”

Ray laughed and cried in relief and kissed him in return.

He was finally home.

 

 

 


End file.
